How many people are living like hostages in their homes because “dog training” didn’t help. And how many dog owners have a place they can go to just to talk? They have given up – alot of people are afraid to post in the toxic venues – because they get beaten down and offered the same advice that didn’t work for someone else.
I have spoken with alot of dog owners over the years – and I’ve had dog owners that made me cry. Let me tell you about a fellow in the Southern US, he owned a pitbull. We communicated back and forth in email for a while before doing a consult.
This fellow had paid out about $30,000 dollars on dog trainers, behaviorists and vet behaviorists over the course of years. Full respect for owners that are willing to do what it takes. All he ever heard was the same chorus saying to kill the dog – too aggressive – can’t be fixed. He had nobody to talk to – his wife left with the children because of the dog, he had to change jobs and work from home. He couldn’t leave the dog alone, and nobody could come over – he’s isolated. His whole life changed because he didn’t want to kill his beloved dog. This man is depressed, taking drugs and now turning to alcohol as a result of the shame that was thrown back his way – And he admitted that the thought of suicide crossed his mind. The trainers, the behaviorists and the vets all said the same – don’t blame us – it’s you that failed – you didn’t follow through.
When you as a dog owner hear that often enough – you’re to blame and kill your dog? That does a serious number on the human brain.
He was seeing something in his dog that nobody else does – does that sound familiar? I get it, I understand it. Please, don’t put the dog down. Just read. Or contact me – robert@dogtrainingisascam.com. I don’t bite – and I respond to all emails. You don’t need to be afraid to send me a message.
We didn’t talk about dog training, we talked about him and what this situation did to him. Both man and dog are down in a deep hole of depression and anxiety – with no way out. And it took a while for him to accept that it wasn’t his fault – but the onus is solely on him to fix this. Nobody else can do it for you… You help your dog by helping yourself. When I started talking about the psychology – that’s when things started to change – understanding what the system did to him and why.
Know what I my recommendation was? To start focusing on himself. Get a good sized treadmill – and start use it. Well, he took it to heart and bought a slat mill for the dog as well – perfect – running side by side.. Run all that shit out of your system – take the time to get into your own head. And get the dog to use it – multiple times a day. You both need some exercise – there is no rush. What’s a couple of weeks to work on yourself – to understand yourself – and to change the negative outlook on life. The mans confidence in my opinion was taken from him.
He realized that it was his own emotions that were driving the dogs behaviors – his own fight and flight response. The poor man was a wreck and didn’t realize it – couldn’t see it in the mirror. He realized that he was the negative reinforcement that was causing the dog to react. The number one thing he had to learn? Find your peace – find your calm – and the dog will join you. Peace is the absence of negative emotions – no reason to fight or flight. And it’s peace – a state of calm that heals the emotions of others.
It took about 2 to 3 weeks of working on himself before he decided to take the dog for a walk. 3 am, ran the dog on the slatmill to tire him out – then went for a quiet walk around the neighborhood. Find your peace before the walk – and keep that state of peace as you walk. He wasn’t expecting the positive results he got. He said the dog kept looking at him – like why aren’t you reactive? Why aren’t you anxious? The dog settled, and started being a dog…
That was the night he realize his dog wasn’t broken – the dog was an emotional basketcase as a result of all the reward and punishment – the suppression of behaviors. He started focusing on the relationship with his dog – and that is a journey that never ends ladies and gentlemen. He is starting the journey to learning how to trust his dog – and that’s the hardest thing dog owners need to learn. And that takes time because in order to trust – one needs to allow choice.
And a yes from a dog that’s not allowed to say no? That’s not dog training – that’s abuse of an amazing and sentient animal. They deserve better.